I just about lost everything today. I lost Jacob but not because of the horrible lies he was told. Hes not ready for a relationship. I lost my room, but I was already looking for a new place so that’s ok. I’m moving in with my sister Tuesday until I find a place I like. So me and her can have fun living together.
I also had a panic attack this morning hate them. Literally feel like there’s no air. All because someone who was meant to be my friend kept telling a lie about me and not listening when I said it wasn’t true. It’s a long story, I did something wrong but the reaction to it is insanely Over the top. I expect pissed off people but to the level they’ve gone. Not really. To tell the guy I’m seeing a lie, like it’s fact but it’s just them flipping out…. Nah not cool. Done.
Then I got really bad I.C cause of how much I drank last night. Was horrible.
But my friend Johnny was real nice and spent the afternoon cheering me up and viewed a room with me. I told him the truth everything that happened. He said “in fairness id be pissed off at you but not to the point they’ve gone. You were a dick to do that but that’s a bit extreme” and he’s blunt and would tell me how it is.
Well Tuesday I’m out. My mom is coming to help me pack and take me to Kate’s then I’m viewing another room. And gone. No more loud loudness and ocd-ness.
- Kester, My Mad Fat Diary (via brokenpromisesanddbrokenhearts)
Because I’m insecure from all the boys that treated me wrong I’m messing up the one boy who’s treating me right.
First time chest hooping transition to neck practise practise every day!